Analyzing Mind

I have this pen…or should I said HAD a pen. The gel came out in thick lines that flowed evenly across my paper. I used it all the time to fill out forms and important documents because it looked so good.

Today I was using the pen to complete some paperwork for my practicum. The bell rang. I went to lunch and then came back to my next class. I reached to grab my pen which I had carefully placed under my keyboard to avoid theft or rolling onto the floor. It was not there.

I searched everywhere…my purse, behind my computer, the floor, in the stacks of paper that I have yet to grade, my filling cabinet, even the trash. It is gone. Where would it have gone? Did someone steal it. Why?

Now, I am left with my other pens which I don’t like because the are either the wrong color or the ink skips. I soon will have to go to the store and buy me another one. Do I get the same kind or are there better pens to use?

Anxiously, I go through the week. Taking my classes. Teaching my students. All just to reach the weekend. I have 2 days of the week I truly can relax and enjoy…Friday and Saturday.

On these days, I can stay up late without any worries about what is to come, and all my thoughts about the up coming week are supressed. So, today I enter in my class and can enjoy everything just because I know it is Friday.

Friday allows me to love everything. For those who know the Cure song, I am not trying to copy them. I just feel more deeply and more openly on days when I can relax. No worries mon’!

How do you feel when you work hard at something and are proud of your work, but someone you care about points out all the mistakes?

My husband bought me the prettiest phone last Christmas. It was the first pink RAZR available (not the pale pink or the one covered in pink plastic). Our service is through Cingular who did not sell the phone. So, he order this special phone unlocked from Asia. I was so excited! It even had Japanese numbers on the keys and came with a hot pink case.

I know Scott regretted buying me the phone after I was clipping the case onto my belt loop so everyone could see it. I had this hot pink thing bouncing off my hip, and it kept ringing “Hello Moto”. I laughed every time, and Scott dropped his head in embarrassment.

As the months pasted, new phones came out, and my phone no longer was that cool. It was still my favorite color and held special meaning since Scott bought it for me, but it also started to just flake out. Time for a new phone.

The search began. Since my last phone was pretty but did not do much else, I wanted to get a phone with some cool features. I wanted a good camera, good sound, and a way to play tons of music. We went to stores, and I would dash over to the flashy pretty phones. Scott would give me this look like I was a little kid about to do something I knew was wrong. I would slowly turn away and follow him to the phones that actually worked.

The problem is the phones with the gadgets were ugly. I didn’t want an ugly phone either. I was stuck. Pretty or handy? Now, as a guy, Scott did not understand why I had to think this over. The looks of the phone should not matter, but I would have to carry this accessory with me everyday! All the phones he pointed out were “boy phones”. I want a small, cute, but useful phone. This did not seem to exist.

Then, in total frustration of my RAZR turning itself off, I opened my mind and listened to Scott’s advice. He showed me this phone online with a 2 mega pixel camera and a memory slot that could hold as much music as I want. Wow! The camera really impressed me. I love pictures, but the phone was just black with orange buttons. I was not sold yet.

Maybe if I saw the phones in person, I could see if they are as ugly in person as they are online. So, we headed to the Cingular store. I walked in and asked to see a Sony Ericsson W810i and a pink SLVR (those are really cute). Phillip, our sales guy, opened the box and prepared the Sony for me to play with.

At first, I was a little confused with the buttons, but in seconds, I was snapping awesome pictures and jammin’ to the music. So what if it is just black with a few orange buttons. This phone rocks! It is tiny which makes it more feminine, and it has all the features I wanted. The perfect phone for someone who wants it all…style and functionality.

It was May, and my husband needed some new clothes. We grabbed a large empty suitcase and hooped on a flight to NYC to shop at the largest department store in the world…Macy’s! Even though this trip was about shopping, I demanded a trip to MoMA. Several years ago, I had a chance to go in the museum for about an hour. That is not enough time to see the gift shop.

So, we set out early to ensure penty of time to experience everything. Out of all the amazing works of art, the few pieces by Salvadro Dali were what amazed me most. I could have spent the entire day staring at the tiny details of these masterpieces, but instead, I had to settle for a picture with one of my favorites paintings.

Seriously…any ideas?

After years of school, I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I will soon officially be a “counselor”. Does having this title really change what I do? I don’t think my schooling is what made me a counselor. Yes, the knowledge and skills I have gained make me more capable, but I have been counseling all of my life.

Through the years, I have found myself attracted, not just in a physical sense, to people with issues. I know. Everyone has their issues, but I mean major issues like heroin addiction, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. My goal was never to change who they were, but I wanted to learn as much as I could about them. In return, I often made a difference in their lives just by not judging them.

I have often wondered…do I search them out or do they come to me?